


Motherhood

by Repeatinglitanies



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don’t copy to another site, F/M, Five being a bit of a spoiled brat, Vanya becomes a mom, sugary sweetness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27281356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repeatinglitanies/pseuds/Repeatinglitanies
Summary: Fiveya Week Day 3 Prompt: ChildhoodAfter a six-month mission away from Hargreeves Mansion, Five comes back to a Vanya sporting a prominent bulge in her middle
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 10
Kudos: 85
Collections: fiveya week (round 2)





	Motherhood

When the Umbrella Academy came back to the mansion after a lengthy six-month goodwill tour (that was actually nothing more than another mission on behalf of Dad’s “friends”), it was already late at night. Hence, despite desperately wanting to see Vanya and lay down next to her after virtually no contact for the whole length of the mission, Five decided against it. He didn’t want to wake her. And he didn’t want to answer questions on what had happened, where he had been and what he and the others had to do.

His failed attempt at time travel back when they were thirteen had obviously warranted punishment, at least in Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ eyes. So while the others got their full thirty minutes of fun and games (thirty minutes he would have spent in Vanya’s company), his free time was cut in half. If that weren’t enough, Dad made him burn his notes, leaving him no choice but to start from scratch.

The old man also made sure to give him an extra course load on top of the Umbrella Academy’s already demanding curriculum, near-punishing training regime and deadly missions. Which left little time for Five to re-create his equations on time travel, and even more limited time to spend with Vanya.

Back then, he thought it made sense to devote his fifteen minutes on Saturdays from noon to fifteen minutes past noon to his time travel calculations. Five needed light to see and write after all. And the old man insisted on lights out by ten sharp.

Besides, the dark wouldn’t have deterred him from jumping to Vanya’s room, tucking himself under her covers with her and updating her on what’s been going on with him. 

But then puberty started. Suddenly, Vanya’s bed became too small for the both of them. And that one incident when he accidentally grabbed one of her breasts filled him with both excitement and consternation. 

In the end, he felt red-faced humiliation. Five knew that Vanya was the same way, even if he couldn’t see her in the dark.

For once, he wished he knew the right thing to say like Allison did (if she actually put her mind to it) or diffuse the situation with a joke like Klaus. Better yet, he wished he could be more reassuring and understanding like Ben. But Five was who he was. Even when they were little, he felt little need or desire to correct his behaviour just to be liked by other people. What was the need, after all?

But this new revelation of how Vanya made him react stirred something in him. 

After that accidental groping, he made sure to sit by the floor, leaning his back at the side of Vanya’s too-small bed in her too-small room. 

Instead of facing each other, underneath warm covers, he now faced away from her from his position on the floor. Vanya had developed the habit of petting his hair from her position on the bed. Neither one of them talked about the accidental-groping incident. And Five tried not to like the feel of her hands stroking his hair too much.

He hated being made to feel unsure and without a guide on what to do. Under usual circumstances, he would simply run from such situations. But this was Vanya. He would never run from her. At least, that was what he had thought.

And then, Dad made them go on that six-month mission. Due to its danger and Vanya being without powers, it only made sense that Vanya stay at the mansion with Mom and Pogo. Five didn’t like not seeing her for so long though. It was made even worse by the fact that Dad insisted on no contact due to the sensitive nature of the mission.

Vanya begged him to help convince Dad to bring her along. But Five wouldn’t have it even though he was almost tempted to give in. 

Couldn’t she understand that she was safest where she was? That the thought that she wouldn’t get stabbed or shot at was the only thing that made six months away from her (without even a call or a letter exchanged between them) bearable?

If he had bothered to share his feelings with words, perhaps he wouldn’t have had to endure hearing Vanya cry well through the night. Five didn’t like the way they parted, with her eyes still red and bloodshot and him not even mustering any words that could comfort her. That image of her, between Mom and Pogo at the foyer as he left, haunted him for the next six months.

It made Five wonder if Vanya spent countless nights, alone and fully awake, as he had. So, not wanting to disturb her sleep the moment he got back, he decided to wait until the morning to greet her.

Before puberty, he would have simply jumped to her room as soon as he woke up. But after “the incident,” Five decided to wait outside her door in fear (perhaps even secret anticipation that he refused to acknowledge) that he would jump into her room at exactly the time she would be changing.

The Umbrella Academy followed a strict schedule with breakfast, lunch and dinner starting at exactly the same time, every day.

Five made sure he was presentable, wearing the Academy’s crisp shirt and blazer and the slacks that now replaced the culottes the boys once wore. He took care to scrub off every bit of dust, debris and blood on his skin. Most of all, he made it a priority to ensure his hair was shampooed, conditioned and combed back the way Vanya liked.

Never one of the most patient of people, Five had to make a conscious effort not to tap his foot on the floor or take another glance at his wristwatch. 

Did it really take this long for Vanya to prepare for breakfast? He was sure it didn’t. Then again, even a boy who can theoretically travel through time and voraciously read all the books about it couldn’t help but feel how slowly time passed when it came to waiting for something (or someone) he had wished to see for so long.

As if announcing her reappearance into his life, he heard the breakfast gong half a second before Vanya opened her bedroom door.

She looked both paler and thinner. 

Five had to wonder what happened in those six months he was away. It was unlike Pogo or Mom to let Vanya leave her meals unfinished. 

No matter. He’d make sure she ate more going forward. Those six months away from her turned out to be about 10% action and 90% boredom, with the bulk of the time spent guarding someone or something. 

Dad made a big deal about being situationally aware at all times while on a mission. But it was hard to do that when he had to stand near a discreet corner and be forced to listen to the VIP talking about things that were of absolutely no consequence. Those hours, Five usually reserved for mapping out his time travel equations, which he would then write down right before bed. Other times he used the time to drown out the VIP’s noise by thinking about Vanya and how she was doing.

Long story short, those six months turned out to be a boon in regards to recreating his equations. But it also made him miss Vanya all the more.

The joy on her face almost made him smile back at her. And he certainly would have, had he not seen something protruding from her stomach.

No, it couldn’t be. 

There was a bulge in a place that should have been flat. 

Vanya looked like she was pregnant.

_____________________

Vanya, in fact, was not pregnant. 

After greeting Five, Vanya nonchalantly made her way down the stairs, ignored their siblings’ questioning looks and took her place to stand to attention at the end of the table. Five wanted to catch her notice and talk to her. But that moment had gone the very second his shock at her appearance rendered him speechless.

It was at moments like these when he wished he could time travel and do things over again. 

But it was too late. Reginald Hargreeves was now at the head of the table with Vanya at his direct line of sight.

“Number Seven! Your appearance is a disgrace. Remove that pillow from underneath your uniform at once!”

Inwardly, Five was fuming at how an old man like Dad could easily deduce that Vanya had simply strapped a pillow around her middle while Five immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was pregnant. 

At the same time, he was relieved. Five didn’t try to look closely at whether it was because Vanya wasn’t pregnant or that there would be a return to some form of normalcy. 

He had never been at a loss for words in his life. But seeing Vanya act so unlike herself had him concerned. He had been trained in all forms of martial and rescue procedures. Even as a child, he had been a problem solver who often had a solution or at least an inkling of a solution to whatever issue had been directed his way. However, upon seeing the bulge in Vanya’s stomach (something he labeled as impossible), his mind went blank, leaving him in the foreign territory of being totally at a loss as to what to do.

Not for the first nor the last time, he wondered what the hell happened in the past six months. He would certainly make sure to find out. But first, he’d let Dad snap Vanya out of whatever it is that came over her. As much as he hated how Dad treated her and the hurt it caused Vanya, he also wanted the Vanya he knew back.

But as it turned out, whatever came over Vanya stayed where it was even with Dad’s most authoritative, tyrannical tone of voice. Had circumstances been different, Five would have been cheering her on for standing her ground. 

However, this girl who strode to the dining table with a pillow obviously (now that he realized what it was) strapped to her stomach underneath her uniform jumper was a stranger to her. Almost like a Vanya he had never met.

Vanya didn’t make a move. The Vanya of six months ago would have rushed to comply. She wouldn’t even have dared to look Dad in the eyes.

“Number Seven! Do not make me repeat myself. Cease your ridiculous bid for attention at once.”

She should have excused herself at this point, made a beeline for the nearest room to remove the pillow.

But to everyone’s shock, Vanya removed her jacket, and then her jumper, giving Five and their other siblings a view of the pillow (one he later found out she had sewn with cloth and velcro to make it ready to wear) as well as her pale legs and panties.

There was a few seconds of shock. 

“Go to your room at once, Number Seven!”

Needless to say, Vanya didn’t get any breakfast that day. Neither did Five, for that matter. 

He wished it was because he went after her immediately. But the truth was that he was the last to recover from seeing Vanya’s state of undress. And was therefore rendered unable to follow the usual morning ritual of sitting down to eat immediately after Reginald sat down. He stayed rooted to his position and posture of standing behind his seat in open mouthed shock for at least a minute. 

He didn’t even hear Dad calling his attention to sit down until he got punished by being ordered to stay in his room.

__________________________

Much later, Five would find out that Vanya spent two of their six months apart in almost complete isolation. And it all happened due to a series of unfortunate events.

Every time the Umbrella Academy was away on an extended mission, the mansion would be on lockdown. This meant that Reginald’s proprietary security system would ensure entrances and exits such as doors, windows and any other portal that lead inside the mansion were securely locked. Under those measures, Hargreeves Mansion became an impenetrable fortress that no thief or would-be murderer could access. This also meant that the mansion’s remaining inhabitants wouldn’t be able to get out.

Under normal lockdown procedure, Vanya should have been fine. Pogo and Mom were with her. And Pogo had the codes to override security should it truly be necessary to do so. But it was an occurrence that was virtually unlikely to happen as the Mansion had its own infirmary, medical supplies, food stores and anything else they would need to survive without help from outside the mansion. It was comparable to a modern day castle created to withstand a protracted siege.

However, this particular six-month mission was different. For the first time, Dad left everything non-Mission related to Pogo. And he made clear that he and the rest of the Umbrella Academy would not be contacted unless it concerned “the end of the world as they knew it.”

Things should have been fine. But then, Pogo had to be called away to the Dallas branch of Dad’s company, leaving Vanya with Mom.

Again, nothing to be concerned about. Mom was programmed to take care of Vanya and protect her in the unlikely event that the Mansion’s security system (which Pogo reactivated in his absence) failed.

But then, something went horribly wrong with Mom’s charging station (until now, no one could truly explain the cause satisfactorily). Leaving Vanya to wake up one morning to an unresponsive Mom.

For the next two months, Vanya had to deal with being all alone in a big mansion with no one to keep her company. Mom was out of batteries. And Pogo was none the wiser, thinking everything was fine because the security system was designed to warn him of intruders or attempts to undermine its locking mechanism. Not of anything going horribly wrong inside the mansion. 

Looking back, Dad designed it that way. A lot of things have been going horribly wrong in that house long before Five and his siblings were brought to it. Reginald’s system was meant to protect his mansion from outside forces, not from what was already festering from within his home.

And whatever Pogo had to deal with must have been a big issue if it kept him from even calling home to check up on Vanya.

_________________________

Of course, Five wouldn’t wait until lights out to find out what’s going on with her. As soon as he felt it was safe to do so, Five immediately jumped to Vanya’s room, no longer bothering with the courtesy of waiting outside her door.

He was both relieved and disappointed to find her fully dressed. 

Her bedroom looked the same with her too small bed practically attached to one side of the wall. Vanya was on the bed looking out the window with her back leaning on the wall. She still had the pillow attached to her stomach. And was even stroking it the same way he observed pregnant women (at least the ones who attended the functions Dad made the Academy go to) did. 

For a brief moment, all he wanted to do was embrace her, tell her that he sorely missed her these past few months.

But there was an elephant in the room they had to deal with.

“What’s going on, Vanya?”

In response, she simply patted her hand on the space beside her. And upon filling that empty space, Vanya immediately leaned her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers.

Five was very tempted to just let time pass that way and revel in her presence after six months away from her.

He was beginning to think that they would just spend the rest of the night like that. And Five honestly didn’t mind.

But that’s when she decided to answer.

“I realized I can’t keep depending on you or Mom or Pogo to keep me company for the rest of my life. I’m sure you’ll find out all about it from Pogo. But I spent some time alone in the mansion. The first few days, I didn’t panic. I fixed myself some sandwiches and followed the lesson plan. But then my meds ran out. And I started thinking the house was haunted or some monster was out to get me. Wherever I went, the lights kept turning on and off. Furniture and anything that wasn’t nailed down kept moving. There was even a point when the house started shaking. Pogo told me that it was a malfunction in the security system that caused all of it. But I really thought I was going to die all alone.”

“But you didn’t.”

Five wished he knew a better way to comfort her. But an obvious statement of fact seemed to be all that he could muster. 

“I didn’t. But at the time, I thought it really was the end of the world, like what Dad’s been talking about all this time. And all I could think about was that I wished I was braver, in a lot of ways. I wished I took more risks, gone out of the house more, insisted on being included. I wished I gave Dad and the others a piece of my mind. And I wished I got to try poutine or McDonalds or Wendys or Burger King. Dad always said they didn’t have any nutritional value. But they looked delicious. And I wished I wasn’t such a burden to you. I knew I was taking time away from you. You could have finished your equation a lot earlier if you didn’t spend so much time with me. No! Let me finish, please!”

Five wanted to tell her that he spent time with her because he wanted to. Not out of some sense of duty or obligation. Vanya of all people should know that. But he knew she had more to say. So, he kept silent.

“Ever since you started talking about time travel, I’ve always been afraid you’d leave me- us and never come back. I know you said that you’d take me with you. But I always figured the only reason you wanted to do that was because you think I needed to be taken care of. And to a certain extent, I let you think that just to keep you with me. But that’s unfair to you. I shouldn’t hold you back and I shouldn’t expect you to look out for me forever. You have to live your own life just as I have to live mine. So I told myself if I ever came out of what I thought was my near-death experience alive, I’d learn how to take care of myself better. Well, the lights and house kept at it for a few more hours. But other than that, nothing else happened. I couldn’t seem to calm down though. I tried playing my violin. And that helped a little. But it wasn’t enough. So I imagined that I wasn’t alone, that there was someone else I had to calm down. And here it was.”

With that, she indicated the pillow at her stomach.

“I imagined I was expecting a baby and I had to do everything I could to protect it. Instead of playing the violin for myself, I played it for the baby. And somehow it worked. I felt calmer. Eventually, the house went back to normal. The shaking and the flickering lights happened again the next day and the day after. But I played for the baby again and then again. Until the day I didn’t need to play anymore, I just needed to think that the baby existed. And I felt calm. Eventually the security system must have rebooted itself and things went back to normal. Could you believe I’m not taking my meds anymore?”

Now that she mentioned it, that explained how lighter and livelier she seemed. Dad gave her mood suppressants to dampen her anxiety (and a lot of her “excitable emotions”). Briefly, he wondered if going off her medication was actually what caused her to strap a billow to her stomach. But he banished that thought. It was the isolation. Not the lack of pills that did it.

“Vanya, you know that it’s not a real baby, right?”

“I know. I just like the company.”

 _But I was supposed to be all the company you could ever need._

He wanted to say that thought out loud. But couldn’t.

Five had to fight the urge to hit something. Or more preferably, tear off that damn pillow, stomp on it and throw it as far away from Vanya as he could.

Of course, he didn’t do that. Instead, he just let her continue to hold his hand, lean on his shoulder and start humming to the pillow-baby.

The only thing that kept him calm was the knowledge that Dad wouldn’t let her continue masquerading as a pregnant teen, if only because the old man was very protective of the image of his precious Academy.

It would be alright. Vanya would lose the pillow pregnancy and he’d be there to pick up the pieces.

________________________

As it turned out, Dad did in fact manage to get Vanya to ditch the pillow. But only because Reginald Hargreeves replaced it with an egg baby. No one in the Academy once thought this consideration was due to acquiescence or guilt for the two months of isolation that Vanya went through.

It was just another experiment to dear old Dad. Whatever Reginald Hargreeves wanted to get out of this or how important such a data was to him, no one knew. Five, for one, didn’t actually care.

Inwardly, he was fuming at how a breakfast staple replaced him in being the sole focus of Vanya’s attention outside her studies and her violin. All Five really cared about was having Vanya back.

But it was like Vanya was a whole new person. She treated the egg baby that she even named Shelley like an actual infant. Something Five considered to be the height or irrationality. The egg was an inanimate object and it was an exercise in futility to ever hope it would come to life like Pinocchio or Galatea. And given that Shelley is basically an unfertilized chicken egg, it was impossible for a chick to hatch from it.

It was at the tip of Five’s tongue to shatter Vanya’s illusions. He really, really wanted to. He was sure that without Shelley, Vanya would continue to accompany him again during his now reinstated thirty minutes of fun and games (it was his reward for the six-month mission) and her focus would go back to him when he visited her room during lights out.

It wasn’t that Vanya went out of her way to avoid him. Just that she insisted on taking Shelley everywhere with her. Not that she could totally be blamed for it. One of Dad’s rules for keeping Shelley was that Vanya was to take it everywhere with her. Unless it was to sleep, the egg infant was to never be left unattended. 

And with Vanya going overboard with her mothering, it felt like there was a third presence in what was supposed to be a company of two. In the dead of night, Five felt irritated at himself for his own irrationality. Shelley was an inanimate object. And yet, he resented the egg for monopolizing Vanya’s time and attention and leaving mere scraps for Five.

Where once she would be in rapt attention for his theories, his idea or his plans, he would catch Vanya glancing down at the egg at her lap, as if its status or state of being would actually change from one moment to another.

To make matters worse, Vanya somehow got Klaus to help her make bonnets and diapers for Shelley. Number Four, who never exerted himself on anything, actually put his talents on arts and crafts to use. 

Vanya loved it when Klaus drew Shelley a face and even constructed a crib and a carrier for the egg just to make sure Shelley was “comfortable.”

And where Klaus was, Ben wasn’t far behind. 

Somehow, Five suspected that Vanya sensed his animosity towards Shelley. So whenever Vanya had to practice and had to focus on her violin instead of Shelley, it was Ben she turned to for babysitting duties. 

Vanya never outright confronted Five about it. And Five pretended that nothing was wrong. That it was ok she was making something of a life without him. That he hadn’t often thought about smashing that damn egg or telling Vanya she had gone mad for even considering a thing to be a person.

Sometimes, he hated himself for not acting on those impulses. 

The only thing that prevented him from doing so is the thought that Vanya might never want to be near him again. Five didn’t think it would be possible to crave her presence all the more. But there he was, putting pride aside and jumping to her room every night just to take his place by her floor and lean on the side of her bed, trying but failing not to enjoy the feel of her fingers through his hair.

Shelley was “asleep” during night time. So at least they could talk, albeit in hushed whispers. 

It was only a fraction of what he wanted. But it was a lot better than nothing.

And then one day, after weeks of caring for Shelley, the egg disappeared.

________________________

Despite hating that damn egg with almost every fiber of his being, Five wanted Shelley back for Vanya’s sake. At the very least, Vanya didn’t seem so lonely or so sad during the moments he’d spy her all alone. She seemed happier, lighter even. He didn’t know if it was due to no longer being on medication, having more people to talk to, suffering the delusion that an egg was actually an infant or a curious mixture of all three.

All he could be sure of was that he didn’t want Vanya sad or worried.

So Five, along with Klaus and Ben, helped her look for Shelley. Had they lived in a normal house, it wouldn’t have taken long. But Dad just had to live in a mansion with over 40 bedrooms.

If he even had a flicker of suspicion that Luther, Diego or Allison had anything to do with it, Five would not have hesitated to kick their collective asses. But they weren’t thieves and had nothing to gain by taking Shelley away.

In fact, the only one he could actually suspect was Dad. But it would be far easier for Five to time travel or actually consider an inanimate object a friend than prying secrets and intentions out of Reginald Hargreeves.

So even though he was sure they’d find nothing after scouring the house from attic to basement, Five still did it. He hoped they would find Shelley in one of the unused bedrooms. But if not, at least he was able to spend time with Vanya, just the two of them.

As it turned out, Five got neither. They hadn’t even gone through a third of the rooms when the old man (through the PA system and speakers installed throughout the house) called Vanya to his office. 

The moment she heard Dad’s voice, Five could already tell that she had put two and two together. Had she not, Vanya would have disobeyed and chosen to look all over the house for her egg baby instead of answering Dad’s summons. 

While they’ve been taught to make their way immediately to Reginald Hargreeves when called for as far back as any of them could remember, Five already knew that Vanya’s priorities changed when she got Shelley.

And for some reason, the meteorologists should probably go back to whatever universities gave them their degrees. Their purportedly ninety percent accurate weather forecasts had been totally off the mark for the past few weeks.

Even now, the gathering storm outside mirrored the turmoil of emotions Vanya must have been feeling.

It was then that he knew. 

He couldn’t have Vanya face Reginald in her current state of heightened emotions. Five never wanted to put stock in things he could neither explain nor rationalize. So he chose to believe that he acted out of a split second decision that his brain made taking in everything he had observed.

“Vanya, Stop!”

Five made sure to teleport right in front of her, just in case she didn’t listen to him.

“What?!”

As if in response to Vanya’s exclaim of annoyance, the lights blinked off and on. Though that was a ridiculous thought as Vanya was born without powers. It must be the weather that affected the output of electricity.

But that was of little importance to Five. Certainly not as important as the person in front of him.

“You know that he took Shelley, don’t you? That it had always been part of his plan to take Shelley away. The only reason Dad gave Shelley to you was because he was doing some sort of experiment.”

Tears of indignation spilled out of her eyes. And it surprised Five to see them. He knew that Vanya cried. But in the few instances he had witnessed them, they had often been tears of sadness. 

Now that he thought about it, when was the last time he really saw Vanya being very angry or incredibly happy? Five had always assumed it was Vanya’s natural tendency to be mild-mannered and soft-spoken. But how much of it was truly her or simply a side-effect of the medication she’d been ingesting until her months of isolation?

Five was immediately snapped out of his contemplation by the flash of lightning, then the lights suddenly dying out and then the sound of thunder.

“He had no right to do that! Shelley is mine! She didn’t hurt anyone. She could never hurt anyone. She’s an egg, Five! There’s no way she could do that. So why would Dad do that?”

Five didn’t need the lights to know how devastated she must look. 

As if on autopilot, he wrapped her in his arms. Five could already feel that the dampness of her tears had gone past his vest and into his crisp, white shirt. 

Not for the first time, Five felt like using his abilities and training to beat Reginald Hargreeves to a bloody pulp. But what good would that do? 

“I don’t know, Vanya. The old bastard would only tell us what he wants us to know. But you can’t face him like this. You won’t get Shelley back by raging at Dad.”

With that, Vanya recoiled from him as if he were some sort of snake. 

“What do you care about Shelley? I know how you feel about her, Five.”

There was no point denying it. Five had never been a good liar, especially not to Vanya.

“You’re right. I don’t care about something that I eat for breakfast. But I care about you. I want you to get whatever you want. So I’m telling you that based on my extensive experience with arguing with the old man, losing your temper on him or trying any sort of intimidation tactic won’t work on him. He’ll probably just make sure you don’t get anything out of it.”

Five had to wait a few more moments before he heard an audible sigh.

Vanya’s voice was a lot less hostile than before. 

“So you want me to just do whatever he wants? Be the obedient little assistant he wants me to be?”

Through the darkness, he somehow managed to reach for her hand. And she let him hold her (which was a welcome relief).

“No. Show him that you won’t let your emotions get the better of you even after he took away something you love. It’s no good raising your voice to him or telling him he’s a tyrant. But what might work is trying to find out what he wants from you and figuring out a way where you get what you want without him screwing you over. And you won’t be able to do that if all you're focused on is letting him know how much he hurt you. Do you understand?”

Vanya didn’t answer. But she did squeeze his hand. And that was all the answer he needed.

Five wanted to have been with her as she faced off with Dad. But Dad would have only seen it as a sign of weakness on Vanya’s part.

So he stayed away. Choosing instead to wait at her room. It was certainly more nerve-wracking than any of the missions he had gone through. Nothing meant more to him than for Vanya to somehow come out on top despite years of being conditioned to believe that Reginald Hargreeves always won.

When Vanya came in with the brightest smile on her face, the storm clouds had already retreated from the sky. 

He would have immediately asked her what happened had his eyes not immediately gone towards the bassinet she carried.

______________________________

The bassinet contained an infant. An infant doll to be exact.

Vanya wouldn’t tell him what exactly the nature of her deal with Dad was. But he could surmise that if she did well with taking care of the most lifelike infant doll on the planet while keeping her grades up, Vanya would get a reward. Something that she was clearly looking forward to.

While Arnold (as Vanya named the doll) did not reach Mom’s level of sophistication and likeness to the human condition, it was close enough with its non-stop hourly wailing. Sometimes, it was for milk. Other times, it was due to soiled diapers that Vanya had to change herself. And Vanya would be lucky if those were the only reasons.

Unfortunately, it was not. And Five had begun to think Dad only created the damn doll to make Vanya suffer. 

What once was Vanya’s neat, almost spartan room was now consumed by Arnold’s “things.” Vanya’s desk had been replaced by a changing table, while Arnold’s bassinet as well as his basket of clothes and diapers had been placed all over Vanya’s already limited space that Five had to wonder how Vanya managed to manoeuvre her way out her room. 

She even had a baby bottle sterilizer, a thermos flask as well as baby formula stationed outside her room in case Arnold needed feeding.

Five wished he didn’t fear being banished from her company. Otherwise, he would have told her feeding Arnold was just an added burden on her. Dad clearly designed the doll to convert the formula into waste. Vanya would be fortunate if it was simply urine that flowed out of the anatomically correct infant male doll (and sometimes directly onto her face). But the old man must have a sadistic streak that he ensured Arnold produced excrement as well.

But Five knew better. So instead, he reluctantly watched as she put Arnold in a papoose (the doll would continue to cry if put back on the bassinet) while she cleaned up her room.

If he had ever thought that Shelley’s disappearance and replacement with Arnold signaled a return to normalcy, then he was sorely mistaken. If anything, Arnold took up even more of Vanya’s time. 

Gone were the days when he’d just talk on and on about his plans with Vanya quietly listening to him. 

While he missed those times, Five was surprised to discover he didn’t feel too sore about them. Not when he got to discover a different side to Vanya.

For as far back as he had remembered, Vanya had always been tinged with loneliness and melancholy. There had been a certain passivity to Vanya before that had always worried him and made him fear for her should he not be at her side. She hated raised voices and conflict, and if at all possible, she would rather acquiesce to unreasonable demands rather than have to go through any form of unpleasantness. 

While it was one way of surviving, the thought of anyone taking advantage of her made his blood boil in anger. Five had seen the world outside the Academy walls and fought people who wouldn’t have hesitated to take advantage of people like Vanya. So whenever he thought of the future, he had always considered taking Vanya with him so that he could at least keep an eye on her.

But the Vanya of today, the one that survived isolation, seemed to be more independent somehow. One that wasn’t as uncomfortable with being alone as she used to. And one that was willing to fight if it meant protecting what was hers. 

It was a new facet of Vanya’s that he enjoyed discovering. Or perhaps, it had always been within her and had only chosen the present time to manifest itself.

Whatever the case may be, he had mixed feelings about this side of Vanya. While he was happy that she was now better able to care for herself, deep down Five wondered if he still had a place in her life. Or if she would still want him in her life once they all turn eighteen and move out of the Academy.

The Vanya of before would have clung to him and hung on his every word. She would readily agree to accompany him whenever he asked. But now, it seemed that he was the one who had to fight for every scrap of time she was willing to give.

It was even more true now that having an infant doll instead of an egg attracted the attention of the rest of the Academy. 

Now, it wasn’t just Klaus and Ben that suddenly wanted to spend time with Vanya.

Allison, Luther and even Diego somehow got involved. And on more than one occasion, he found himself on the outside of Vanya’s narrow room looking in, wishing to kick everyone but Vanya out. But unable to, especially after seeing how happy Vanya was with the attention.

And suddenly all the envy and jealousy Five had thought he had extinguished suddenly reared back up again. How is it that the people who wouldn’t give Vanya the time of day before suddenly want to be on good terms with her? How dare they take away his already scarce time with Vanya?

It irritated him how one look at Vanya’s face told him she hadn’t been sleeping well. What she needed was rest. But the others were either too stupid or self-centered to notice. 

How could Vanya so easily let them in when they’ve shunned and ignored her for most of their lives?

Five hated the feeling of impotence, hated no longer being the center of Vanya’s world. So for the rest of his free time, he just stood outside her door, fuming as he saw Vanya enjoying the attention from their other siblings.

Was she disassociating herself from him? Five knew he wasn’t the easiest person to get along with. But he had genuinely thought Vanya enjoyed his company.

Or was Vanya simply making do with him because no one else would notice her before?

The thought disturbed him. So much so that he didn’t visit Vanya for days afterwards. Not in the morning to greet her before breakfast. And not at night, when everyone was asleep and unlikely to interrupt their time together.

If Vanya felt upset about it, she didn’t show it. She must be too busy with Arnold (and now the company of their other siblings) to even notice his absence.

And that made him feel worse. But only the weather seemed to sympathize. It had been dark and cloudy the whole week. And Five honestly thought the weatherman or whoever made the forecasts should be fired.

He would have kept himself away had Vanya not lost her footing and almost took a tumble down the stairs. Thankfully, he had witnessed it in the nick of time. His quick reflexes and a timely jump saved Vanya, who was keeping a firm hold on Arnold.

She looked even more haggard than before.

But before he could even say a word, Vanya disentangled herself from him and walked away without a second glance.

That night, he decided to visit Vanya. It might not have been the best of ideas as he still hadn’t gotten over being “cast aside.”

Everyone was fast asleep. But he had the feeling Vanya was still awake. How could she not be when Arnold probably cried at all hours of the night? Not that he could hear the damn doll. Dad made sure to soundproof Vanya’s room to ensure the others had enough sleep to endure the next day’s training.

But Five could easily surmise Arnold caused Vanya’s sleepless nights and her lethargy. He wished he could also blame Arnold for Vanya’s animosity. But Five knew better.

He just hoped Vanya wouldn’t totally banish him out of her vicinity forever. Five fully deserved that. And yet, he hoped not to be punished.

However, upon blinking into her room, Five immediately regretted jumping directly inside instead of waiting outside and knocking until he was allowed in. He somehow forgot why he needed to practice that courtesy in the first place.

To his open mouthed shock, he was greeted with the vision of Vanya attempting to breast feed Arnold. 

How Vanya managed not to scream, he’d never know. But she immediately covered the exposed breast at around the same time he looked away.

All the while, Arnold continued to wail.

“I- I’m sorry!”

To his knowledge, that was the first time he had ever apologised to anyone. But whether it was because of his lack of courtesy by “barging” into her room, accidentally spying on her at a vulnerable state or liking what he saw, he couldn’t say.

“Vanya, what were you doing?”

“I should be asking you that.”

The indignity in Vanya’s voice was loud and clear, bleeding through her exhaustion.

“I’m sorry, okay? It’s the middle of the night. And how was I to know you’d try a controversial method of calming Arnold?”

Five could easily imagine Vanya trying “breastfeeding” as something of a last resort. Especially, given that she wasn’t even lactating.

“Maybe if you actually bothered to visit the past few days instead of avoiding me, you’d know!” 

Vanya snapped back.

That was when the guilt washed over him. 

Five had delegated the cause of his frustrations into Arnold and their siblings. Blaming them for taking away Vanya’s time and attention, making her lose sleep and free time to catch up with her violin practice and studies. In short, he resented them for replacing him.

He had thought his siblings to be immature for still wanting to play with a doll.

But perhaps it was actually Five himself who hadn’t grown up. He knew Vanya was having a hard time with Arnold. No matter how much she smiled and claimed to enjoy taking care of the doll, he knew that Dad set her up for a difficult task, possibly even failure.

And did he even extend a helping hand? Not at all. He was no better than their other siblings. One could say he was even worse. Sulking in the shadows while she had to deal with all the challenges of taking care of a “baby.” 

Complaining, albeit only to himself, that he had been deprived of his favorite person in the world.

It hasn’t escaped Five’s sudden bout of reflection that his constant “urgings” for his siblings to grow up should have also applied to him. Because he was the child in this situation. Not in the way Victorians would like to describe children, thinking them to be pure and innocent, maybe even devoid of sin.

No. He was a child in the way that only what he wanted mattered and that everyone around him only existed to serve his every wish and fancy.

It was a bitter realisation in the face of Vanya, who had sacrificed so much of her time and efforts to care for an infant version of Mom. Five was the only one who thought Arnold and Shelley didn’t matter, a waste of Vanya’s now limited attention. 

But it was clear that Vanya didn’t see it that way. Ever since she emerged from that isolation, the pillow, Shelley and Arnold were symbols of her growing independence. She had always desired approval and acceptance from Dad and the rest of the Umbrella Academy. But as her time with Shelley and Arnold made clear to him, she no longer went out of her way to gain their attention. Instead, she simply took pride in being able to care for something else, anything else. 

And while it was the novelty of taking care of an egg and a lifelike doll that first got their other siblings to congregate around her, Five couldn’t deny that the others continued spending more time with Vanya for who she was.

However, looking at Vanya’s pale face and heavy-lidded eyes, Five couldn’t help but feel the weight of guilt crushing his chest. It couldn’t have been more than a week. But Vanya looked like she was about to collapse. 

Five wouldn’t be surprised if Dad had designed Arnold to wail every hour just so Vanya didn’t get enough sleep. The old man might not take pleasure in the suffering of others. But Reginald Hargreeves wasn’t above dirty methods to prove a point, whatever that might be.

And still, Arnold kept crying even as Vanya alternated between rocking him to and fro and then patting him on the back.

“Is he hungry? Or has he soiled his diapers?”

Five instantly felt ashamed for asking such obvious questions. Doubly so at the sight of Vanya’s irritated look. Of course, she had checked. Vanya was as well versed with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as he was.

He had just caught Vanya placing a nipple (not a bottle’s but her actual nipple) to Arnold’s mouth.

Which means that she was probably at her wit’s end on what to do.

“Can’t you ask Mom or Pogo?”

“I can’t.”

The slight tremor in her voice left him with a feeling of dread. He knew what happened after that. So his body automatically reacted accordingly. Seemingly without conscious thought, Five held her in an embrace (with Arnold snug between them).

“Shhhh. It’s ok, Vanya. We’ll figure this out. I take it that your deal with Dad stipulates that Mom and Pogo can’t be involved?”

She gave a slight nod. Her tears had already started sliding down her cheeks. So Five used both hands to wipe them away.

“Did he say no one else could help?”

Vanya paused to think about it. After a few beats, she slowly shook her head.

“Good. In that case, let me help. Let our brain dead siblings help too. I know you want to prove that you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself and your problems. But Dad rigged the game by making Arnold almost exactly like a real baby. And even Dad got help from Pogo, Mom and a couple dozen nannies when he got us.”

He might have overplayed Dad’s role in taking care of their infant selves. But Five thought that Vanya got his point.

“But I don’t want to be a burden. You guys are already busy with training and saving the world…”

“Oh, please. Luther and Allison would be glad for a chance to play house. I have a feeling that Diego actually wants to take care of Arnold. Ben and Klaus? The way they were holding Arnold? I think they’d be happy to babysit if you ask.”

She was nodding in agreement. Though Five thought Vanya might be doing so unconsciously. 

She must be so tired. But not so tired that her now steely eyes suddenly bore straight into his.

“What about you Five? You don’t like Arnold just like you didn’t like Shelley.”

There was no point in lying to her. She would see right through him.

“I never liked Shelley and I don’t like Arnold. But what I said before still stands. I want you to get what you want...Even if it means I don’t get to spend as much time with you as before. So yes, Vanya. There’s no question about it. I’ll help you with Arnold. If Dad gives you another challenge, I’ll help you with that too. I know you don’t want me to take over for you or to fight your battle for you. So all I can do is to make sure you see this challenge through.”

In the end, it took Five having to recite the first few pages of the Principia Mathematica to get Arnold to calm down and “go to sleep.” Who knew that even robot babies get bored enough to drift off?

He would have taken that as a cue to jump back to his room. But with Vanya’s sleeping head on his shoulder, Five took a few more minutes to enjoy this newfound peace before he put Arnold back in his bassinet, tucked Vanya in for the night and returned to his lonely room upstairs.

As it turned out, their siblings were more help than expected when caring for baby Arnold. By the end of Arnold’s first week, every member of the Academy knew to change his diaper, burp him and rock him to sleep. Of course some members needed more blackmail and bribes than others. But that didn’t matter as long as they remained willing to babysit Arnold long enough for Vanya to get a few hours of rest and/or catch up on schoolwork. No way would Reginald Hargreeves reward Vanya if taking care of Arnold came at the cost of her grades.

To be honest, Five had wished they could have always chosen Ben to babysit. Definitely because he was the most mature of the bunch, easily getting the hang of what was needed to take care of a robot infant and usually preferring to read to Arnold, which often resulted in Arnold’s wide-eyed silence as if listening intently to the story.

But Ben couldn’t always be available.

Unexpectedly, Klaus and Allison actually took time to knit Arnold several caps, mittens and other clothing. Whenever any of the two babysat, it always involved Arnold coming out of their rooms in different clothes from the ones Vanya dressed him in.

For Vanya’s sake, Five even bit his tongue whenever he saw Diego or Luther holding Arnold. Or in Diego’s case, throwing Arnold up in the air and catching the doll just before it hit the ground. Apparently, the exercise elicited giggles from the doll.

Luther preferred holding on to Arnold, albeit in a superman pose, as if Arnold had an actual imagination to believe he was the Man of Steel flying through the sky. 

Whenever it was his turn to babysit, he just turned on the radio to the science station. And waited for Arnold to drift to sleep. Of course, he first made sure Arnold had a fresh change of diapers and to pad his bed with those absorbent sheets made to protect beds from “accidents.”

Throughout it all, Vanya still made sure she was the one who took up the most time in caring for Arnold. Five didn’t fully agree with it. But it was part of his growing pains to learn to accept it and respect her decisions.

Then came the unseasonably sunny day when Arnold disappeared just as inexplicably as Shelley did. Even all the Arnold related paraphernalia had vanished from her room. But this time, Vanya didn’t panic or lose composure. Though he did sense a mixture of sadness and excitement in her. Because even though she knew Arnold was incapable of truly loving and caring about her, Vanya got attached. But at the same time, Arnold’s absence meant that Dad was satisfied with her performance (Dad had a way of letting everyone know when he was displeased) and that Vanya would attain her heart’s desire. Or at the very least, she would be one step closer to it.

Five and their other siblings wouldn’t get to find out what happened afterwards until much later. As if on cue, they’d been called for another mission only to come back exhausted at the dead of night. Most of their curiosity had been extinguished by the need to bathe and then promptly go to bed. Everyone but Five’s, that is.

Having learned his lesson, Five decided to blink outside Vanya’s door to find it slightly ajar. He would have knocked if it wasn’t for the strange sound he heard inside.

What the hell did Dad give Vanya to take care of? Five certainly hoped the old man hadn’t decided to actually let her handle something dangerous.

But when he let himself in, he was greeted with the sight of Vanya petting a German Shepherd puppy. She alternated placing it back in its crate, taking it out, carrying it and then petting it.

Apparently, Vanya couldn’t sleep because the puppy would whine whenever she placed it back in its crate. For its small size, it was very noisy. 

And Dad gave strict instructions that the puppy wasn’t allowed to sleep with Vanya on her bed.

“Go to sleep, Vanya. I’ll take care of it overnight.”

He wasn’t going to let Vanya lose sleep again. And he’d gladly take care of the puppy. Unlike Shelley and Arnold, this one was actually cute and could be trained. 

But Vanya was unenthusiastic about having Five lose sleep.

“You need sleep too, Five. Besides, it isn’t that she’s hungry or needs to pee. She doesn’t really want to play either. I think she’s lonely. It’s probably her first time sleeping alone without her siblings. That’s why I put some toys in her crate. But she wasn’t fooled.”

That actually gave Five an idea.

He just needed a quick jump back to his room to get something. It took about half an hour to tear open the stitches of the stuffed toy Vanya prepared for her puppy and then sew it back up again. Neither he nor Vanya were particularly gifted in home economics, that was more of Klaus’ forte but there was no way Klaus would wake up at this hour. So Five and Vanya’s combined efforts would have to do.

And after a few more minutes, the puppy was sound asleep in her crate, sleeping on top of a stuffed toy with a pocket watch ticking away inside it, mimicking the beating of a heart. Or at least, mimicking a beating heart close enough to fool a young dog into thinking one of its litter mates was nearby.

“So did you finally get what you wanted?” 

Five asked as he stared at Vanya’s puppy. She hadn’t decided on a name yet. But that was all right. Hopefully, Vanya won’t give in to any of Klaus’ undoubtedly ridiculous suggestions. The puppy really did look cute. And he might just get secondhand embarrassment should the tiny thing be stuck with the most awful name on the planet.

“Most of it.”

What did Vanya mean by that?

Five turned his head to look at her just in time for her lips to meet his.

He had imagined how this would go so many times before. But he never truly allowed himself to think the day would come.

When they broke off to breathe, he managed to gasp out some words. But to his embarrassment, the string of words and phrases didn’t make sense, even to him.

He tried again. But for the first time, he was speechless. He didn’t know what to say.

In the end, it was Vanya who spoke first.

“Did you like it?” She said shyly, her cheeks tinged red and her eyes clearly burning with hope.

Finally, he found the voice to reply.

“Y-Yes.”

Vanya's smile then was the brightest he’d ever seen. 

“Then kiss me again.”

So Five did.


End file.
